Surrogacy part 9: Feeling the love

I can not describe the love and support we have received since the 12-week scan. The number of messages Jack, myself and Em have had have been immense!

S: I can not describe the love and support we have received since the 12-week scan.

The number of messages Jack, myself and Em have had have been immense! We have been fortunate over the years to have the most supportive network, but I think I was now coming in from all angles as well. I started to feel very overwhelmed as I had been waiting for a good 12-week scan for years, and now finally, it had happened. I don’t think I fully believed it was happening to us. 

One of our best friends who had seen us both in incredibly vulnerable states over the years turned up at the door the day after the scan in floods of tears, shouting ‘finally!’E: I really have to echo what Soph is saying- the support over the last 3/4 months has been immense! I get daily messages from lovely Instagram friends (but who I’ve never met) with complete outpours of love and hope for what’s happening- as well as emails and texts. Even at events, I’m going to for my hypnobirthing work, people and clients are just being so kind. Of course, my close friends are all being incredibly supportive and I don’t think they know how much I appreciate them checking in on me daily and weekly over the last few months, so thank you. You’ve all be travelling this journey with us too!

S: After the scan I wanted to buy the world. I literally wanted to buy every baby grow I’ve ever looked at in the past (with tears in my eyes) and put it away in a little drawer until April (even when I said on one of the earlier blogs that one thing was enough for now!). However when I actually let myself walk into the shops that I’ve always avoided I can’t bloody find anything I like! Typical! Will I seriously be as fussy with a baby as I am with my own clothes? Apparently that would be a bit fat yes! I did manage to find a few cute bits online from Zara so quickly paid for those before I changed my mind! 

E: It’s so lovely to have Soph messaging me photos of what she’s bought- she’s always spoiled Mollie and Theo with lovely things- especially clothes- so to see her buying for her own is very special indeed.

S: A friend said to me that it was time I booked to go to the baby show, something I’ve always looked at posters off and silently (sometimes not so silently!) swore at! So I booked tickets for the end of October before our next midwife appointment as a bit of a mini goal to get to. 

E: Going to the baby show will be feeding Soph’s shopping addiction!! I went through the ‘buying everything’ phase with Mollie but sold most of it within a few months, still in the packaging! With Theo we barely used any equipment, but maybe that’s a kind of ‘right of passage’ with a first baby?! I’ll try and save Jack some money anyway ha!

S: J and I have slightly different views on finding out the gender of Baby Smith. When I first got pregnant all those years ago I always said i wanted a surprise but completely changed my mind when I knew we were going down the surrogacy route. I felt I needed to know the gender to visualise this baby and prepare as much as I can as a form of bonding. J was very much 50/50 but you can imagine who won! We booked a private scan for 19 weeks. 

E: I found out Mollie’s and Theo’s gender at 20 weeks so I’m kind of glad we’ll find out who this little bubba is! Obviously I would have been totally fine with whatever they had wanted to do- but it will be really special finding out with them (and James is coming along too) before the big reveal to family and friends.  

S: My brother was adamant we should celebrate being half way through the pregnancy once we find out the gender and had been planning this in his head for about 3 years so it will be lovely to tell everyone whether it’s a pink or blue at family drinks in November. 

E: As I said earlier, the outpouring of love has been incredibly special. Two things I really wanted to mention are a beautiful birthday gift from my friend and work mentor Toni- she gave me a Mexican Bola necklace by Blooming Lovely Jewellery which is on a long chain and has a subtle chime in it. The baby will hear it throughout the pregnancy and I’ll then pass it on to Soph to wear in those early months. It will be a familiar sound that will with help the baby’s attachment, which is is really incredible. 

The other thing I wanted to mention was the very kind Laura from The Pregnancy Food Company- she’s been sending me delicious nutritional snacks to keep me and the baby fueled in the best way. Just so very sweet and thoughtful ❤️

S: Today I ordered a couple of books online so that Jack and I could start recording our voices for Em to play to bump. It’s really important we start thinking about the transition and how to make it as comfortable as possible for baby Smith. I’ve also read its a nice idea to play our favourite music to bump. 

E: I’m looking forward to starting to play S&J’s voices to the baby- the music thing will be great but may have Soph and I booking tickets to Ibiza if past playlist sharing experiences are anything to go by 😂 Babies love Ibiza right?! 

S: I’m wondering if this is the biggest ‘limbo’ part of a pregnancy. The bit between the 12 week scan and hearing the babies heartbeat at 16 weeks. We can’t wait for this appointment and the next batch of much needed reassurance! 


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