Part 18: Showered With Love!

There was no way Soph wasn’t going to have some kind of baby celebration, she’s organised many over the years, including mine which she actually held at her house- so now was her time to be celebrated as a mama!

There was no way Soph wasn’t going to have some kind of baby celebration, she’s organised many over the years, including mine which she actually held at her house – so now was her time to be celebrated as a mama!

S: At the end of February my mum, brother and closest girls in my life organised me what most people would call a ‘baby shower’. I didn’t know initially if I ever wanted one because part of me felt like a fraud as I’m not pregnant. Of course this sounds ridiculous as I’m still the one awaiting a baby but It’s how I felt so I never really wanted to call it a baby shower as didn’t visualise a traditional shower with pregnancy games and decorations etc!. I did however decide that celebrating the past 6 years being over with all the people who have supported me through in one room would be lovely. To raise a glass (yes one of the criteria was that there was alcohol to take the edge of me feeling sensitive!) to science and surrogacy so I said let’s do it and didn’t get involved from then on. Being chief organiser in my social circle I thought I’d find that quite difficult, but it was actually lovely to not be in charge for a change!

E: There was no way Soph wasn’t going to have some kind of baby celebration, she’s organised many over the years, including mine which she actually held at her house- so now was her time to be celebrated as a mama!


S: I received a gorgeous invite in the post at the beginning of the month and they’d named the celebration my ‘special delivery’. As it got nearer I was excited but also nervous as to how I’d feel on the day. One of my besties text me the morning of the celebration saying she had waited 6 years to be able to organise it and I know my mum was like an excitable Duracell bunny!

They had privately hired out a local brunch hot spot called ‘Black Goo’ that sits at the top of a well known antique shop in my local town. I walked in and all my friends and family were there, including a few people I hadn’t seen in a while. They had organised the most amazing afternoon tea spread (with Prosecco!) and the room was decorated with incredible giant balloons. I have to admit i had a brief moment of finding it quite emotional at the start. ‘Should I be having this shower when I was stood there without a bump?’, ‘Was I really going to be holding that baby in a matter of weeks and feel like his mum?’. I did feel my eyes well up but I knew that everybody in that room understood that because they had been there throughout. They knew me and my sensitivity and soon enough I was through the moment and enjoying the celebration.

E: It was so nice for Soph to have the true spotlight for the afternoon. When expecting a baby and once a bump appears, the world is so nice to you. Soph got to feel that love and warmth and it was emotional seeing her taking it all in. Everyone has so much love for her and this baby I think it was so nice for everyone else to have the opportunity to show that to her as a group too!

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S: So my ‘Fu*k you infertility’ celebration couldn’t have been any more gorgeous. I have genuinely watched baby showers happen, organised them, attended them for the past 6 years thinking it would never be me. Myself and this baby were truly spoilt and we were overwhelmed with the generosity.

Special shout out to my chief organisers – Mum, Baby Bro, Chafe, Jadey, my mother in law Hils and my sister in laws Nina and Lu. To Fayezal for her famous cupcakes which no party would be the same without, and to Em for putting up with bump being felt for 2 hours!

E: I loved chatting to a few of Sophs friends and family that I haven’t met before. They made me feel really special and expressed their gratitude to me which will always tip me over the edge as I forget that this is actually impacting S&J’s whole family- but that can be quite overwhelming too! In a positive way of course!

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S: In other news, since the beginning of March we have had our 36 week growth scan at the hospital where baby boy was measuring approx 6lb and in the 45th percentile so all looking normal. We also had our final consultant appointment where they discussed the c section in a bit more depth, exactly what happens on the day and Em had to sign her consent forms. The next time we go back to the hospital will be for pre op!!

E: I still can’t quite get my head around these being the last appointments before the big day. They’ve become a part of almost weekly life and we joked that I’m going to have so much time on my hands when this is all over!

S: We also had our penultimate midwife check up. Baby’s heartbeat was all good and our wonderful midwife wrote down all our birth preferences, which we have all discussed before but they like it in writing in Em’s notes.

Something else that’s happened since the last update- We were invited by a lovely infertility/pregnancy blogger to join her on her podcast and I love talking about our journey and raising awareness of surrogacy so felt it would be a great platform to do this on. At first Cat spoke in length to Jack and I about our history and journey towards surrogacy, then she spoke to Em and James to get their thoughts. It was interesting recording it with the boys and I loved how honest Jack was about a lot of things. I hope one day the story encourages people to not be afraid of surrogacy in the UK.

E: As Soph said it’s always going to be a good thing for us to talk about our success story publicly to raise awareness of what can happen- and it was so nice to get the guys involved! I always feel emotional and proud hearing James talk about his views on the whole situation. I’m looking forward to hearing it back and it was so lovely meeting Cat @tryingyears who does so much incredible work for this cause.

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