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E: I thought time was slowing down as we had less appointments in the diary, but when I realised that we’re nearly out of the 2nd trimester it became apparent that wasn’t the case at all!
S: It’s amazing what discussions crop up when Em and I talk about baby Smith together. We started talking about what we thought he would weigh and I hadn’t really thought about it being anything other than genetics and related to what Jack and I weighed as babies, but actually after doing a bit of research its also linked to what Em eats (I mean of course it is but it’s not something I had thought about before). If I was carrying our baby I wonder if he would weigh different to what he will eventually weigh at birth having been carried by someone not genetically related? An interesting thought and one I won’t dwell on too much as no pregnant woman is 100% in control of this regardless
E: Baby’s weight in pregnancy is a little annoyance of mine! As a hypnobirthing teacher I hear of so many women being told that their baby is ‘big’ or ‘small’ from scans, and then go on to have an average sized or opposite-to-what-they-thought sized baby! So I’ve encouraged S not to think too much into it if we get told a weight at a scan! But of course it’s totally natural for her to wonder what he’ll be like, in every way!
S: We had a couple of big appointments in just before Christmas. The first was our booking in appointment at Stoke Mandeville hospital and the second was our 24 week midwife appointment. This was exciting as we hadn’t heard baby Smith’s heartbeat for 8 weeks. Em’s daughter Mollie came along with us and her little face hearing the heartbeat was so special. It definitely sounded more like a steam train this time!!
E: It was really lovely taking Mollie to this appointment. She loves anything to do with the doctors (she actually came to a pre-transfer clinic blood test appointment once and the nurse let her take my blood, assisted, but still, she was fascinated!). Lots of people ask me how she is during the surrogacy journey, and honestly it’s just going to be a part of her life. One big loving part of it where she’ll hopefully one day feel proud that we as a family helped our friends have a family too. She has asked a couple of times when S&J will be taking the baby! I don’t believe it’s in a way that she particularly wants them to- it’s more just knowing they ARE going to, so when is that day actually going to be!
S: I feel like after the 20 week scan the baby’s room became my biggest focus (I say mine as Jack really has just seemed happy that I am finally in a good place and able to plan things which is my absolute favourite thing in the world to do!). I created moodboards on Pinterest, saved hundreds of images on Instagram and must have looked on every online shop going from all around the world until I had the perfect idea of the room in my head. It’s helped me massively to create a vision of where he will be eventually and I guess some people call it nesting.
We live in a 3 bedroom house and had left our smallest ‘box’ bedroom empty for about 8 years since we moved in, just waiting for the moment when it could be used for a baby. Last year I decided enough was enough and I was in such an angry place so hastily decorated it and put a day bed in there so I wouldn’t walk past anymore and get sad! Low and behold we now need the room!! But actually have decided to decorate the second (slightly bigger) bedroom instead to give him some more space.
E: I love hearing about S&J (maybe more S at this point ha!) prepping the baby’s room. It’s another way they’re able to bond with him and I think it’s all just so lovely.
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Today’s guest blog is written by Lucy Sharpe, founder of Days and Dreams Sleep Consultancy.