Surrogacy

Part 19: The Final Countdown (Pandemic Style!)

You literally couldn’t write what has happened in the world since our last general update in February. The world has quite literally turned upside down!

Emiliana Hall

You literally couldn’t write what has happened in the world since our last general update in February. The world has quite literally turned upside down and we’ve all been forced to re-think how we live our daily lives in a matter of weeks. The beginning of baby Smith’s life on the outside world is continuing to follow the interesting path it started on the inside 9 months ago! Here’s a short account of how the weeks have gone by for us, leading up to this very exciting week when we will finally be meeting him!

S: Ok so the last few weeks haven’t exactly been what we had planned in ours heads! My tick list was to spend time with Em so baby kept hearing my voice, go to the cinema by myself, get my nails done, go shopping with my mum. Nobody on earth could have predicted the craziness of the current world situation we are all in and the emotions that comes with that.

I was due to finish work in London just under 2 weeks before D Day, however a few days before this the COVID-19 situation started to get fairly serious. Jack and I knew that we both needed to self isolate regardless of any symptoms because if either of us were to get the virus there was no way we would be allowed into hospital. I was going to do whatever was in my power to prevent that.

For my final few days I worked from home and it was quite sad not getting to properly say goodbye to my team, but it was absolutely the right thing to do.

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E: In the grand scheme of things, I have nothing to complain about. I’ve managed to carry baby Smith for my besties to full term, and his arrival is imminent. But if I was going to have a moan, then not having our pamper session and a couple of pregnancy massages would be the things I would be sad about! But they are minuscule in relative terms of what is going on in the world right now. Our last month of pregnancy really couldn’t have looked more different to what we expected though.

S: We had our final midwife appointment in place at 38 weeks, but again J and I thought it was best not to attend so Em FaceTimed us. We heard his heartbeat and our midwife was happy with everything.

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E: Going along to the appointment by myself was strange to say the least, it felt odd not having S&J there as we’d been a little threesome for over well over 9 months now! Our midwife G was so lovely though. I had a little cry and let off some steam to her about things that were on my mind, but she was so reassuring and I felt so much better after talking to her. At this point there wasn’t a solid instruction from the government to self isolate and I realised the lack of direction was bothering me!

S: The next week or so gave me some time to sort things in the house I hadn’t got around to. A big house clean, packing hospital bags, doing some batch cooking for the freezer etc. I spoke to Em whenever I could to check she was still feeling ok and we started FaceTiming a bit more.

I guess the hardest part of these last couple weeks has been the immense anxiety over whether we would still be allowed in the theatre or in the hospital at all for that matter, considering the increase in hospital restrictions.

I had a slight meltdown on the phone to the hospital midwife when I was told that other hospitals had stopped visitors or birth partners staying postnatally on the wards. I had horrible visions of me being made to leave the baby in the hospital overnight and I just don’t think I could have coped with that. The midwife was so amazing and reassuring. It’s hard with surrogacy as the intended mother (me!) can feel quite out of control as I’m not the pregnant woman who obviously needs the actual medical attention. My job really begins when baby arrives, not before. The hospital really have supported us completely and know how important it is for us both J and I to be at his birth and with him after. We have been assured that as we are an exceptional situation that our plan will still be the same as it was before just with extra precautions.

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E: Once Soph had the reassurance from the hospital in writing, we all sighed a huge breath of relief. My work is with expectant parents so I am fully exposed to the reality of what is happening in maternity care to protect parents, babies and hospital staff. Our situation is exceptional and although I did say to Soph that we’d need a plan B & C if they weren’t allowed to be there, it just wouldn’t have been morally right for them to not meet their son as soon as he is born. As long as they are not showing any symptoms on the day, we will be good to go.

S: The other thing we have had to try and get our heads around is that nobody will be able to meet him for a while. This has been especially hard for the grandparents to accept. There have been a lot of people waiting for this baby and nobody could predict a national pandemic would stop them meeting him! But again it’s out of our control and will be so special when it’s safe to do so. I can feel a million FaceTimes/House Party calls a day coming on!

E: One thing that is really important to me is that Mollie, Theo (&James!) get to see baby Smith on his way home. Psychologically, it will be an important part of the story for Mollie & Theo to see that he is no longer in my tummy, but physically going home with his mummy and daddy. We plan to do this by introducing them to him through the closed car window when S & J drop me home. Honestly, you couldn’t make up this story could you!

S: So how does it feel only being a few days away from meeting the baby we’ve been longing for for 6 years now? Honestly the answer is still a bit unclear! My brain has been so focused on ‘not catching corona’ that it still hasn’t fully accepted that this is happening. I have however been told that’s normal for all expectant mums and the excitement will kick in at some stage! My big focus is getting through to the morning of his birthday with no cough or temperature for any of us!!

E: I’m with Soph on the mind being slightly overtaken with thoughts of the virus impacting the day. However, I constantly remind myself of my own advice and tell myself that very soon they will have their long awaited baby boy and my job as their surrogate will be done 🖤

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